January 15th, 2006
january 15
finally.. i'm not into the "death" thing anymore. i mean.. i'm happy to be alive. why?! 'coz now ,i look forward on what's going to happen tomorrow, or ten years from now. due to my insanity, death before was a fascination. something i dream about<literally and figuratively> the last 6 or 5 months of my 2005, i dreamt of my loved ones and myself dying.. or someone has died. it didn't really freak me out though.. i was a li'l scared but i know now that death is a natural occuring thing. nothing can stop it.. we just have to accept the fact that we are all going to die.. sooner or later. so why waste it on worrying? or stressing yourself out on things that need no attention. ahahaha.. go on ria.. reverse psychology would be a big help. 
anyway..
what's with the title?! haha.. i am.. so in love. that's why i think this way.. this is a different kind of love. something that i know that wouldn't stop.. something that i believe in. 'coz i have friends <who loves me dearly>, family <who looks out for me>, and someone, who i can say made me more worthy.. and of course.. i have God with me.
fine.. i can't erase all my negative emotions/frustrations/angst/etc, but they are all part of life. handle it, and you'll fastly be done with it. clinging isn't good.. living in the past isn't good either.. better start living my life now, right?!
it's not like i have to do everything.. one single step at a time. i can't change the world that fast.. haha. i just hope that i could be a better person, not only for myself.. but for others as well. i may need help.. but a lot of people are in need of much more help than i do. start helping.. start patching things up.. being optimistic.. having faith.. loving.. and believing.
new day.. new start.. positive outlook.. positive outcomes.
oh by the way..
nel, thaks for making me this happy.
